Conflict with thy Neighbour

Since I've lived at my new house in Bend, I've had conflicts with many of my neighbours. This is something I've never experienced before, in any of the places I've lived previously in the last 10 years (Seattle, Squamish). I've experienced complaints, but they were always resolved rationally and peacefully. For example in Squamish, there was a time when I used to jam with a drummer up in my music room, and we played quite loud and late occasionally. My neighbour complained about the noise once, and I told them if we did play loud, it would be infrequent, probably not more than an hour or 2, and never after 10 pm. This was reasonable and agreed on, and we remained friends.

So is it Me or is it Them ? Am I surrounded by insensitive Americans, or have I become an uptight complainer freak ? Is it a clash of cultures ? You be the judge. Here's the list of conflicts I've experienced, some of them rather minor :

Conflict #1 :

This was very minor, but produced some interesting results. We'd only been at the new house for a few months. When the weather got better and I was in the backyard more often, I noticed a high-pitched whine occasionally, which appeared to be coming from the vicinity of my direct neighbour's house to the North. I guessed that it was coming from their heating system, and tried to ignore it. Some weeks later, I became curious, and decided to investigate the noise. I found it was eminating from their dryer vent on the side of the house. By fiddling with the vent flap - holding it in a certain position - I was able to reduce the noise significantly. Some time later, I saw my neighbour outside, asked him if he knew anything about the noise - he didn't - and I mentioned what I'd done to eliminate it and asked him politely if he could figure something out. He seemed a bit taken aback, but said he would take care of it, which he eventually did. After that, he seemed much cooler [unfriendly] to me, and a long while later he mentioned casually how he was surprised I'd had the nerve to confront him with the issue. I found this surprising - where I come from no one takes offense over such a minor thing, and issues are usually resolved by people talking to each other... what's the alternative - letters from lawyers ?
And a few other minor things - like when I installed drainage for my property on the side bordering his house, I consulted him on it, and we decided he could hook up his eavestrough pipes to the drainage pipe on my property (him paying his share of the cost). But when he built a fence between our properties later, he never bothered to consult me about it. I found this strange...

Conflict #2 :

Another baffling one that happened early in our Oregon residency. I was out on a mountain bike ride and got lost. This was not unusual, but became an issue since Jennifer had an appointment for something, and I had to be home at a certain time. I finally figured out where I was, got onto a main road, and realized with a superhuman effort I could probably be home on time. While I circled the last roundabout at high speed and took the left turn into our subdivision, I had been travelling about the same speed as a white truck who was going in the same direction. We swapped places a few times, and after the turn, he started slowing down and displaying 'I don't really know where I'm going' type behaviour. I zoomed by him on the left, and hammered it past the few streets to our house, slowing down just enough at the stop signs to make sure there were no oncoming's. I made it just in time, and Jennifer was getting ready to leave.

I had just finished putting away my bike, when I heard a shout from the direction of the street. I looked up, and there was the guy in the white truck - he had followed me to my house ! I approached the vehicle, and he remained in the driver's seat, talking throught the passenger side window. He asked me why I hadn't stopped at the stop signs back there. I remained calm, and said usually on a bike I don't come to a full stop, just slow down, make sure it's safe to cross the intersection, and then keep going. He said I should really stop - I said I didn't think so, that slowing down and checking is good enough. He then said I cut him off back there. Oh-oh, here we go. The guy is still not shouting, but starting to get irrational. He said how would I like it if he didn't stop at the stop signs, what if he ran over my children. OK, the 'asshole' light on this guy's forehead has now started blinking rapidly. I start to lose my cool, and walk rapidly up to his vehicle : "Look, !#$!, do you know how many times cars have almost killed me when I've been on my bike! Don't start telling me about how dangerous bikes are when they have no chance against a 5,000 lb vehicle!" The guy keeps going on about the same stuff. I look back and see my kids looking at me, and realize I have to cut this off. I look down at the ground, point down the street, and say "Get out." He doesn't leave. "Get out!" I say again, shouting it this time, and finally he drives off. Now this would be a normal 'asshole driver' confrontation, if it wasn't for the hilarious ending. As I watch the guy drive off, he crosses the intersection beside our house, and then turns into the next driveway ! Wtf! Does he live there, or is he just visiting. Mouth agape, I see the guy go into the house. He must freaking live there ! What kind of idiot freak-show would chew out a neighbour he's never met !? Wouldn't you try to be diplomatic to a new neighbour, perhaps introduce yourself before berating the hell out of him ? Hmm, what would a normal person do ? Needless to say, I have avoided this jerk and the rest of his family ever since.

Conflict #3 :

This occurred just this morning, with the neighbour across the street to the South of us. This neighbour has been the source of non-stop noise and annoyances ever since he started building on his lot last year. But I have kept my peace most of the time. I have endured the constant construction noise, which for a while was every evening 5pm - 9pm, and all day every weekend day. This is because this guy was doing a lot of the work himself, and did it outside of his regular job hours. For this reason the construction took much longer than normal, and annoyed my family countless times. But we endured it. The only time I went over there to complain was once when it had been quiet all day, and he started up a bulldozer at 6pm, just as we were sitting down to Easter dinner. I thought he was just a contract worker at the time, but then we talked and introduced ourselves. And he reasonably complied with my request to stop working while we ate.

Fast forward to about a month or 2 ago, when for whatever reason, his dog began to bark for long periods of time, like several hours. This went on for a few weeks, and the poor beast just kept barking, the sound very loud as it reverberated off other buildings. It occurred to me that the owner may not know his dog was barking, because it always happened when he was gone. So I went over to talk to him, and let him know what was going on. I was very polite, and he thanked me for letting him know, and said he might try a barking collar, or just not leaving the dog outside. After this it got better (but was by no means eliminated), but good enough for me.

And now we come to the fun stuff. I will try and keep it short :) Anyways he has a very loud truck that he starts at 6am, and he lets it idle noisily for 10 or 15 minutes to warm up. This went on all last winter, and while it sometimes woke me up and disturbed me, I let it go, because it seemed it was just a fact of life, and not worth raising a fuss over. It got better in the summmer because the warm-up time decreased to only a few minutes. It started getting colder a few weeks ago, and here we go again with the extended noise. Oh well, put some earplugs in and go back to sleep. But then I noticed that the sound was louder than before. One morning I was curious, and got out of bed to check it out. What I see is a truck parked on the side of the road beside our property. Oh, so it's someone else's truck, maybe like he's carpooling with somebody. But squinting in the darkness I realize it probably is the guy's truck. Why is he parking it there ? As my eyes adjust in the faint light, I see why : he's playing some ball game with his dog while the truck warms up, the headlights aimed down the street so they can see.

For a couple of weeks I ponder what to do. I don't feel like being a picky SOB and complaining. On the other hand, it is rather annoying - maybe he doesn't realize that our bedroom wall is only 30 feet away from his truck - so I should find some non-confrontational way of letting hime know it disturbs me. Finally last night I realize I have to take action, so I grab a beer from the fridge and walk over there - I will offer him the beer, and ask him if he wouldn't mind not idling his truck right outside our house. He's home, but I ring the doorbell several times to no avail - not answering for whatever reason. What's funny is that through the side glass, I see his dog come up to the door each time I ring, and he doesn't bark !
So this morning the loud noise wakes me up again. I put on a jacket and shoes - still in pajamas - and walk over there. Perfect timing - he comes out of his house just as I approach. Doesn't recognize me at first as it's dark - so I identify myself, and ask him if he wouldn't mind not idling his truck so long, as it's pretty loud and a bit disturbing. He is a bit flustered - I explain about the proximity of the bedrooms in our house to the street. And then he starts getting hot - saying it's part of his routine, he needs to see down the street so he parks it out there, etc. etc., in a 'You're not telling ME what to do!' kind of voice. I remain calm, and point out that what he's doing is actually against the noise bylaws (which it is, I researched it). Then he mutters something and jumps into his truck, slams the door, and takes off. Hmm, that didn't go over so well :) Got up on the wrong side of the bed ? Not a morning person ?