Exceptions to the Rule

Don't you just love those people who are so damn special, that they are somehow exempt from rules that everyone else follows ? They make convenient exceptions to commonly posted rules, so they can pursue their important lives unencumbered by laws that were made for the masses. Here's some examples of rules, and exceptions made by these weasel-like members of the human race :


Rule : Handicapped Parking Only
Exception : Doesn't apply if you're loading / unloading stuff from your car, or for errands that only take a few minutes.

Yeah, Mr. Weasel, you just take that convenient parking space, so you only have to walk 20 feet to the mailbox. Us regular folk will just have to park a bit further and do that major 150 foot hike. And while you're at it, why don't pick up a latte, and maybe a size 10 hat for your inflated ego ? "Hey, what are you looking at ? I sent in my handicapped card application ! Can't you see I'm so fucking fat I can barely get out of my car, let alone walk a few feet away from it ? I forgot my walker, OK" Whatever ass-munch, next time I'll let the air out of your tires while you waddle away, then try explaining that to the cops.


Rule : No Dogs Allowed
Exception : Not my dog, he's part of the family !

Hello, Weasel family, did you not see the sign about no dogs ? Do we have to make it bigger for you ? Oh so Fluffy is special, and that only applies to all other dogs ? Hey we had to put that sign up, because people were complaining about all the dog shit on the beach - not to mention the excessive barking noise, bothering young children, etc. I see, your dog doesn't do any of those things. That might be true, if it was dead ! Here, let me kill it for you - sorry, don't have my gun with me because I actually read the sign that said no guns !


Rule : No Littering
Exception : Does not apply to cigarette butts

Most smokers have some cognitive dissonance about their butts not being litter. They'll give someone else a dirty look for dropping a candy bar wrapper, but will fling butts left and right everywhere they go. The world is their fucking ashtray. "What, that's not litter - isn't there something in the Constitution about that ? Everyone smokes, c'mon !" Sorry ash-hole, this isn't 1950, where it was normal to encounter cancerous fogs just about everywhere. Why don't you give me your address, so I can dump my garbage on your lawn every week ? You look like the type of idiot who likes to manicure your lawn, riding your 50 hp John Queere and showing off your prize-winning beer belly while chomping down on a cigar. Hopefully that butt you fling away will ignite that pile of sagebrush someone left beside your property (not me:) and burn something down, like the shack you like to jerk off in while you're waxing your belching machines.