Day of the Cookie

Got into work today after a bitching little morning ski. Decanted myself a styro cupful of the office sludge, but my growling stomach demanded something more substantial to go along with it. The search in my office for granola bars or other semi-healthy snacks was futile, so grabbed a quarter and headed to the vending machine. The best choice appeared to be Grandma's raisin cookies. Probably loaded with sugar and preservatives, but not the time to be choosy. After purchasing the item, I observe that the expiry date is today - not really concerned about it, due to aforementioned sugar and preservative agents.

A few minutes after consuming the cookies and coffee, I receive an office email that someone brought a bunch of cookies in, and left them in the kitchen for all to enjoy. Damn - if had waited a bit, could have got cookies for free, and probably better quality too. Several minutes later, another email arrives, concerning more cookies that have been brought in. Now I am quite agitated, and go to the kitchen to grab some cookies before they are snatched up by the greedy hordes. I see the vending machine dude, and mention that the cookies I got out of the machine were expiring today. He checks the dates on the remaining ones - sees that they all expire today too - and tells me to hold out my arms so he can load me up with all the soon-to-be-dead Grandma's cookie packages. I walk around the office, distributing all the loot, and wonder what else is in store today - this Day of the Cookie. Perhaps if I walk outside at the wrong time, a large cookie meteorite may obliterate me.